Redefining success as a service provider: slower, softer, smarter

What’s the thought that keeps tugging at you?

The one that sits quietly at the edge of every decision.

Or the conversation you wish your industry was having, but no one really is.

For me… this one’s tricky.

I’ve always found it hard to go deep with stuff like this. I’ve just kind of accepted things the way they are. Never questioned them. Because that’s what “good girls” do, right?

And it’s only recently that I’ve started to realise just how deeply ingrained that way of being is. It’s taken me four decades to even start noticing it. And when I do try to speak my truth, I struggle to say what I mean — not because I don’t have anything to say, but because there’s still that fear. The fear of saying it wrong. Of offending someone.

Which feels kind of silly, really. Because if someone had a different opinion to mine, I wouldn’t be offended. So why do I assume they would be?

And yet… I stay agreeable. Bland, even. Playing it safe. Avoiding anything that feels even a little bit uncomfortable.

But when you live like that for long enough, something happens:

You start to disappear.

You lose the sound of your own voice.

You forget what you think.

You start borrowing other people’s opinions because they feel safer than your own.

But here’s the thing — borrowed voices don’t stick. Because they’re not yours.

And when you’re constantly trying to remember who you’re supposed to be, what you’re “allowed” to say, and how to keep the peace… you end up confused. Frustrated. Foggy.

So you do what’s familiar — you stay exactly where you are.

You keep going through the motions.

You tell yourself it’s fine.

But deep down?

You feel lost. Flat. Disconnected.

Okay wow — bit of a tangent there. Let me bring it back to what I actually came here to say (lol).

The idea I keep circling back to is this:

Success takes time.

It’s not supposed to happen overnight.

And chasing someone else’s version of success usually ends with you feeling like you’re failing — even when you’re not.

Because let’s be honest… the pressure to hit £5K months? It’s everywhere.

But where did that number even come from? Who decided that was the benchmark?

That kind of messaging? It’s just noise.

It ramps up the pressure, fuels the comparison, and activates that voice in your head that whispers:

“This isn’t going to work for you.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You’re never going to be successful.”

And when their version of success doesn’t feel like it was made for you, you start to wonder if you’re even cut out for this.

You lose motivation. You stall. You overthink everything.

You start to believe maybe the dream just isn’t for people like you.

But what if we shifted the conversation?

What if success didn’t mean hitting a made-up income goal or building a “six-figure funnel”?

What if it meant… feeling proud of your work.

Feeling calm in your body.

Feeling free in your day.

Because I’ve been caught in that pressure cycle, too.

For years, I believed the next course, the next rebrand, the next investment would be the thing. The key that would unlock it all.

I thought if I just saved up for the right coach, everything would shift in six weeks. I’d be transformed. I’d be sipping wine on a rooftop, living the dream.

(Spoiler alert: I was not.)

Because the truth is, there is no quick fix.

But what has made the biggest difference?

Having long-term support.

Being seen and heard by someone who isn’t rushing my process.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Building a business takes time.

And before you chase any version of success, you have to define what it actually means to you.

I got the urge to start my own business in 2017. I didn’t know exactly what it would look like, but I started anyway. Baby steps. Messy pivots. A hundred changes later — I’m still figuring it out.

Yes, I’ve hit those £5K months now.

But honestly? I still feel just as uncertain about the “next step” as I did back then.

Do I feel successful? Not always.

Do I feel grateful? Every day.

Do I have total freedom? No.

But I do have more space. More time.

And I’m doing it on my terms.

So if you need the reminder — here it is:

Don’t compare your business to the fairytales of the online world.

Don’t rush your journey because someone else’s timeline says you should be further along.

You’ll get there. But in your own way, at your own pace.

It’s not about going fast.

It’s about building something that actually fits you.

Quietly. Calmly.

Your business.

Your way.